We aren’t really human unless we’re constantly thinking, evolving, growing, learning. That’s most of what I’ve been doing as I near my next birthday. Some folks just rolled their eyes, but, birthdays are the perfect time for a little self reflection. Our own personal new years moment to reflect on where we’ve been and where we want to go.
In all that deep thought, searching, considering, and, when we’re lucky enough, we sometimes find the fire we’ve had all along but didn’t see it there. It sounds strange, to find a fire. But, when something is lost or hidden, that’s what you do; you find it. Stumbling through the brush, pushing past the thicket, bloodying your hands on the rocks and thorns, you search and find it.
Then you’ve found it and suddenly so many things about yourself make sense. It’s not that you become a whole new person, just a step closer becoming a whole person.
So, what do you do when you think you’ve learned something new about yourself and don’t want to tell anyone else?
Not out of shame, but because you don’t know if can handle exposing that much of yourself. Even if that someone is a person you love. It’s something sacred to finally have a word, an idea, an understanding of what and who you are. And, sometimes, the most sacred things aren’t meant to be shared. At least, not right away.
Someday I’ll share, in time and only when I’m ready. Until then, remember, sometimes it’s good to have your secrets.